I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
