I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
