sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You are the jesus of drinking
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
