I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize