so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
