she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
