That's when you crack a 10am beer
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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