You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
