I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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