why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
