what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
