Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
