so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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