none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My cat gives me a boner
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
