you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
