ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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