everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
what day is it and did you see me today?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
