6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
