So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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