I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
3pm strippers are depressing
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
