she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
