Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize