it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize