worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
