Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
