Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
