nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize