They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
