man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
