the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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