It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
