You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize