Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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