Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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