lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
