Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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