she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
foreskin is a definite game changer
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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