The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
All the doctor said was why
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
