Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
