This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
