Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
