Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize