what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize