Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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