why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
