i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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