I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
