My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm passing your future prison.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
