We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
