well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You ruined the universe
Randomize
