4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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