Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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