Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
