Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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