is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Someone signed my nipple.
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