toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
