you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize