I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
