"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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