Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
