he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize