I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
