He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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