just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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