Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
