wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
