you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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