Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
