today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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