let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
