I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
