and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
