I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
