I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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