Screwed.edu
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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