need another drink. this is the easiest way
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize