Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize