At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
