So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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