Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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